Tamil per padum paadu..!!!!!!!

The following is an excerpt from a blog (written by an Indian in America )

Non-tamilians.. please excuse :)

En per padum paadu!!!

My full name is Kalaivani, but I call myself Kalai. This is not for scene, ....like how Madhavan does in Anbe Sivam (Anbarasu --> Ars). It has a looooong and pathetic history...

I started hearing different versions of my name after coming to this country, and the painful fact is all the possible permutations and combinations of vowels in my name give meaningful words in tamil!!!

When I first joined the university, my professor wrote to me..
Dear KALAvani (meaning: thief; context: kalavani paya..)
.... ... ...
Sari adhuvachum typo nu free ya vittudalam..

Then after a year, I joined a company for internship.those people called me before I joined, to inform me about some test which I had to take..
"Hello is this Ms. Kizhavaani?" (meaning: old; context : kizha bolt..etc.)
"No..this is KALAIvaani"
"Ohh..am sorry KALAvaani" (Marupadiyum. ..)
Then I decided.periya pera irukkinala thane ivlo confusion?!! So, I started
calling myself 'Kalai'... but the story continued..

I joined my full-time position in another company recently. On my first day, we had a meeting.. 
"Let's all welcome our new associate.Ms. Kulai" (meaning: bunch; context:kulai kulaiyai vazhaipazham kaaithadhu)
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Followed by smiles.
(Dei.ennangada. .. ellarum serndhu comedy panreengala? ??)

Anniku arambichadhu. ..

Once my boss and I were talking about a project... after finishing the meeting...
"Ok, Kali. Nice to have you here!" (meaning: last yuga; context: kali muthi pochu.)
"That's KALAI" (Enakku idhu thevaya?!)
"Ohh kAALi?" (meaning: goddess; context: badrakaali.. )
"Hee hee .very close" (Podaannnggg. ..!!)
So, I stopped correcting my name after that..!

One fine morning, I was working.
"Hey kiLai (meaning: branch; context: marakiLai) .howz it going?"
"Yea good" (Sollitu thirumbitten. Nammaluku edhuku indha per thiruthura
business nu...)
"Is that how you say your name?"
(Aaahaa arambichutanya. ..!!!)
"Uhhh. It's KALAI"
"Kolaai?" (meaning:pump; context: kozhai adi sandai.)
(Venaaammm.. .)
"Kolai?" (meaning: murder; context: kolai panniduven.. )
(Venaam!)
"kaLai?" (meaning: weed; context: kaLai pudunguradhu.)
(Valikkudhu. .. azhudhuduven. ..)
"May be I'll get your name with practice. Haha."
(Idhellam remba over da dei... Tamil la paatha rende rendu ezhuthu thaan da!!!)

Ennada, Chandramukhi la thalaivar 'durga' perai nakkaladikkira maathiri... namma per ayiduche nu nenaikkum podhu... my friend came up with a brilliant idea!
Adhavadhu... to compare my name with a word. So I started using this word 'kaleidoscope' ; which has the same pronunciation as 'kalai'! So, I started telling everyone. 'Kalai as in kaleidoscope' !. 
Ippo kooda romba ellam ozhunga solradhulla. 
They are saying 'kalaai' (kalaaikiradhu)..
"Hey Kalaai!!"
"Yea?"
"Just trying to say your name. Ha ha ha"
"Ohhh ..how sweet!" (thooo thEri..)

Yedho vaandhi edukkira effect la per irundhalum.. . my life was in peace... until few days back...

My net connection was down, so I called up the customer service (En kiragam. Madras call center ku pochu!) Enakku andha vishayame theriyala. So I started in complete American
accent...
"Your name ma'am?"
"Kalaai"
"What? Can you repeat ma'am?"
" Kalaai as in kaleidoscope"
"I didn't get that ma'am. Can I have your number? I can check the records"
(Sigh!... and gave the number)
"Ohh, Kalaivani, right?" (in a sarcastic tone.)
( Ada paavi makka... nee nammooora??! !! All American accents stopped. Back to Indian accent.)

I could clearly see what he was thinking... per paatha 'urs pammingly' nu podra category maathiri irukku... scene podradhu mattum princess Diana range kaa...
"Anna... naan sathyama andha maathiri illeeengana. .

:D

Shankar's perfect breakfast :D

A nice & warm early shower. It's already half past December & not much todo - a feel good mood always to be @ works;).

Cool ride to works & could see the fog setting out slowly after the morning sun - Yuvan's latest ' Evandi Unna pethan pethan ' thrice ...up already!!

Wanted to make a FIFO still, well on time. Seema passsi. Checked FB, emails. BREAKFASSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT?!!!!!!. Why not try the ' The Thangachi kadai '?!! (there used to be ' An akka kadai ' during coll. days - for everyone i guess?!!).

Ctl+Alt+Del>>

Appadia breezeaa...Kadal anukal song madhi;) a walk outside the office..Again walk through the ' Othai aaddi padai ' (0.5kms from my desk). Now reached the ' Thangachi / Annan kadai '..watever. So...

Shankar: I have been hearing you serve breakfast these days, Is it so?
Waiter anna:  Yes ofcourse, Dosa mainly naaaa
Shankar: Oh cool (Felt inside ' teivame!!!!!!!! ')..Ok start musik. Oru 2nd dosa podunga..2-3 waiting alreay aro. before me;(.
Wait..Waiting..Wow it's a 'Jus in time ' manufacturing process goin on!!! A perfect place to see the Supply - Demand concept running live ..So, rest assured of the hottest dosa then;)..WoW !!

The perfect ambiance: Standing under the shades of all time favorite Gulmohar tree & it's really huge too. Cool breeze all over..Seemmaaa..

Shankar: Annan, dosa readya..like the Chn.28 Jai;)
Waiter anna: Yes
Shankar: The hunger grin. (The vulture in him woke up :D)

Warm sun shine. A good amount of greeny fields to an extent. The bushy 10 foot Gulmohar kids all over :). Ooops, D dosas r done already.

Shankar: Annan, two more. (Am sure the Womb inside Thangachi is enjoying the warmth of the dosa heat & already smells it :D )

The Silent & distant horn sounds, more best d Natural retreat all around. Fresh air. What more do one need ??!!;)..On the rocks..2 more Dosa annan. & about the 5 times demanded ' Konjam andha Veerkadala / Thengai Chuttney, Onion sambar '... Actually liked the watery stuffs in mugs :)..Super day Super way..

Walked back to desk.
Oru kutty tuukkam pootaaaaa...Shhaabbaa ipppovae kanna katudhe :)

Harry Potter Spell List :)

For all the Harry Potter Fans.. that included MEEEEEEEE as well :)

Here I think I got all the spells, charms, enchantments, curses, jinxes and all the other incantations. If there's any missing, please feel free to add =D

1. Accio  - Summons an object 
2. Alohomora - Opens locked objects
3. Aparecium - Reveals invisible ink 
4. Avada Kadavra - The killing curse 
5. Avifors - Turns small objects into birds.
6. Crucio - Tortures opponent curse
7. Confundus - Used to confuse opponent
8. Deletrius - Counters "Prior Incatato" 
9. Diffindo -  Splits seams
10. Engorgio - Enlarges and item 
11. Ennervat - Counters "Stupefy"
12. Expecto Patronum - Creates a Patronus 
13. Expelliarmus - Disarms your opponent
14. Finite Incantatum -  Stops any current spells 
15. Immobulus -  Renders target immobile. 
16. Imperio -  Controls a person, unforgivable curse 
17. Incendio - Starts a fire
18. Legilimens - Allows the caster to delve into the mind of the victim
19. Lumos - Creates light at wand tip
20. Mobiliarbus - Moves objects with wand
21. Morsmorde - Conjures the Dark Mark 
22. Obliviate - Erases memories 
23. Orchideous -  Conjures a bunch of flowers
24. Petrificus Totalus - Body - Bind 
25. Priori Incantatum -  Result when brother wands duel 
26. Prior Incantato - Reveals a wands last spell / cast 
27. Protego -  Cause spells to reflect back to the sender. 
28. Reducio -  Returns items to original size.
29. Repairo -  Repairs Things
30. Riddikulus - Use this spell and laugh to defeat a boggart 
31. Stupefy -  Knocks out opponent 
32. Wingardium Leviosa - Makes on object fly 

How I wish I could use some of them in real life ;)

 

Life explained in a different style..!!

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? Tha t's a pretty long time to perform.How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created

Human and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten

the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you..!!!!

For my SweetiePie :)

This is dedicated for My Kid, My love, My everything.....

    You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
    Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
    You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
    Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
    And I love you so and I want you to know
    That I'll always be right here
    And I love to sing sweet songs to you
    Because you are so dear

The Original Cuppy Cake Song

MisCommunication LOL :D

TENJEWBERRYMUDS

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud.  You will understand what 'Tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation :)

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia,
which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin.  Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin!  Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs!  How do I like them?  Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem?  Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay.  An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes.  July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No?  Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes!  Toes!...Why jew don juan toes?  Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!!  I've got it!  You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.  Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes.  Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie.  Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome." 

Lol... :)